devotion

Weekly Devotion: Hope is Alive

Picture credit: Pinterest

“And your life will be brighter than the noonday; its darkness will be like the morning. And you will feel secure because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security. “

Job 11:17–18


There are days when the heaviness in your chest feels like concrete; so heavy that words can’t flow and too massive to pretend or avoid their effect.

At first, you try to resist the load, but as time passes, it overflows, it burdens and suffocates you until you feel utterly consumed. You feel like shutting God out, you want to scream and beg him to take it all away but it’s like he is not listening. He is not even there. Sometimes it’s like you have run out of prayers and words to say to him…

At this point your hope is dead.

Source of Image: Pinterest


You suddenly find yourself packing the Bible and turning on the panic mood. Your focus changes, your lane drives you back to square one instead of towards the right race.

I know I am speaking to somebody who is in trouble, who is emotionally and mentally tired of giving and asking from a God who seems silent. It’s like all hope is lost, your prayers are not being answered and it feels like he is not there.

But I am here to tell you that hope is still alive. But sometimes you just need to surrender and listen.

God’s ways are not your ways or my ways. He knows what’s best for you and he knows how best to handle it while offering it to you. God is never silent he is just waiting for the right moment to make his move.

How long are you going to hold on to thoughts & meanings that don’t serve you? How long will you expect life to serve your pudding each time you collect lemons?

Sometimes we need to learn faith the hard way to get closer to God.

You can’t change the past or the moves you made blaming God for your lack of belief, but you need to take a step of love and faith to create a meaningful relationship with God. Just don’t wait too long.

Source of image: Pinterest


Job 11: 17-18 depicts that darkness is Inevitable but so is light. Troubles will come but there is comfort and peace especially when we take that walk with the Lord. Sometimes we need to walk in the dark to see our light. Tough times can create the best of us.

Learning to live for Christ means making sacrifices to serve others and finding means to allow them to experience these beautiful moments.

Remember even when we lie in broken pieces, God has a way of turning things around. After all, he is the potter and we are just the clay. His hand reaches out to us full of mercy, love, restoration, and grace. He can uplift us in ways that when we look back we wonder,  how did I get through all that suffering. This is your testimony, hope is alive. Something not worth losing. Keep keeping on, for prayer is not an event it’s a process.

To appreciate the beauty of the moon we need to learn to understand and condemn the sun. You know every sunrise melts the frost to dew drops that dangle from a blade of grass or the tip of leaves, reflecting the sun through its rays. Now that’s love. Imagine yourself as this frosted blade of grass or tip of leaf and God is the sun. His love is great enough to warm us up in moments that we feel like there is nothing left. He turns that frosty moment into the most beautiful dew. Are we not blessed?

So dear reader be gentle, be honest,

Seeking and committing to Christ can be hard work as we are required to sacrifice and letting go of habits that block us from listening to him speak. But through the hard work comes the healing, comes understanding comes transformation. You have greatness within you. See it!
Remember you are the reason why God made grace🙏

More study texts: Proverbs 4: ,Psalm 42:11, Romans 15:13,


1. Read your Bible daily to find means and scripture that keep you in grace and hopeful.
2. Pray every day and find a purpose in that scripture of the day that links strength in finding hope in our darkest times
3. Try to speak bibical affirmations that feed the mind and soul in hope and love. Enabling us to share and speak of his love.



Sending love, prayers, and blessings – Rutendo🥀 

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#mental health, Opinions, Sunday whispers

When in despair

Photo by Ekrulila on Pexels.com

Hello and welcome to the first whisper of 2021.

Being in despair is nothing new for anybody. It’s not easy maintaining a positive mind or being around the vibe itself. There are days you just want to stay in your room or drown the unknown feelings on anything you can nibble on, the cuts, the unsaid words, the bud of weed, and the bottle of wine stashed in your clothes.

Some days you feel like you can’t do it anymore. You pick up your phone play the saddest songs; talk to the other you who is sited at the back of your mind staring at your pathetic arse. You simply want to give something but it just doesn’t feel enough or right. You want to drag yourself out of bed but your mind is too exhausted to handle you and the bruises of no sleep. That’s when it hits you, fear has indeed paralyzed you.

Exploring and navigating your anxiety, despair, or unknown feelings is important.  People get surprised at how little things despair can you, or how a colour, words, person, or place can change someone’s mood. 

But think about it you have been here before fought this feeling and got back to living again. So what’s stopping you this time to fight? It’s the little things in life; counting your blessings, journaling, falling in love, a kiss or a hug, the kind words, and knowing that somebody has your back. It’s like each time you pay a price on little things something good happens right? So those moments you forget or don’t even appreciate the little things or miracles in your life, find something to hold onto because despair won’t stop visiting. But it is up to you to step your foot down and let it be known who owns this home, who stays, and who is visiting.

So whoever you are wherever you are, take your notebook and start speaking positivity in every despair you see or meet. You are not a bad person for feeling in certain ways but you need to do better with yourself. 

I am so scared each time I get personal because I have seen the worst and wrath of honesty especially to those whose faith I broke.  I fear to be silenced. I fear procrastination and never writing again. But that does not mean I give up and don’t show up.  I fight even if it takes me months to get back again. I won’t give up. I will smile at my haters and cuddle my lovers.


So when in despair pick up that book, journal, mediate, bath/soak, or phone; read every affirmation, miracle, gratitude, and beautiful moment. Speak love and kindness to yourself. There is a pure connection between your mind and every word you feed it. As you continue to feed it and offer it all the goodness it needs.  Turn away from the harm despair can bring. One step at a time each day, just keep moving.

We are all humans. We are trying and our feelings and words have a way of getting into the way. These crazy changes we can’t explain. Find a reason to love yourself and wake up every morning to be grateful even when the sky is gloomy.

So continue sharing those little moments they will come in handy on dark days. Write them down for the mind tends to forget.

poetry

There’s a family somewhere in Africa

picture credit: Pinterest

There’s a family somewhere in Africa

Sitted by the table sharing a meal

Each and every day the little boy or girl utters grace

Joining them is the one still unborn

The one they hope can stay away from plastic balls

 The one they hope will not climb the gate walls to make friends

 The one television will tame.

There’s a family somewhere in Africa

Preparing to depart

Not knowing what today holds

Hope seems to lurk

Yet fear bestows the reality of losing the ones they love

Excuses seem to cover up what they hide behind their smiles

Nightmares seem to play during the day

And come to live at night.

There’s a family somewhere in Africa

Holding onto to the religion that has raped a daughter

Scarified a son to practice rituals that keeps him screaming at night

They brag about how blessed they are and try to warm their home

With the demons they paint as angels.

There’s a family somewhere in Africa

Protecting a man who beats his wife till she is half dead

And telling her not to go since they will shame her

Make up covers her bruises pretty clothes dress her naked empty soul

She smiles his death penalty to her neighbors

And pursues her sin despite showering him with love he does not deserve.

Tomorrow isn’t a guarantee

I weep everyday looking at my people

So gloomy and full of toxicity

I watch them fall apart

There’s a family somewhere in Africa.

poetry

🥀

For a change, I try not to flutter.
I hate having to pretend I don’t want to talk of the fear that flirts me.
I have no idea how long I have to impersonate the strength of a man.
But yet look at me.
I carry hope in my pockets
An over-lover addict
Carrying a razor in her gums
Trying so hard not to cut her tongue
like cents rolling I have no idea which way
they will land,
but even if
I unearth myself on the wrong side of right,
May the memories from the nights I dance with my feet and waist spread a web of warmth
that will always be there
As a room of light to cuddle my depression.

motivational, Opinion

A kind note.


An illusion is what I would like to call it. It is easy looking at it but a nightmare, a clatter, chaos, and so deteriorating.
When the year began our fear was death but honestly it is becoming more than that. Yes losing someone is like having to cut a piece of yourself you couldn’t do without and then suddenly everybody expects you to move on and pretend like it doesn’t hurt. Nobody considers the pain, the healing, or the changes that will come as you try to adjust.
Nobody tells you about the changes and the chaotic mess it comes with. Nobody is honest I guess.  I feel we are losing ourselves more than we are losing the people we love.
Every day is beautiful but yet something terrible is lurking right in the air. It’s like every minute is history, an event, or a heartbreak. Life is unpredictable and tomorrow is certainly not ours to decide on.

I do not want to talk about myself because I promised not to but I have to admit writing has been a nightmare because nothing seems to make sense at all. I don’t know what to say or whom to write to. Some days are full of storms, some days are sunny, while some days have rainbows. I am tired of acting like it’s easy out here it’s not but hear me out.


You are a little damaged or toxic and it is fine. But what are you doing about it? You spent the whole of 2020 hoping for some miracle but what if that miracle you have been waiting for, is you making it into the second month of 2021 with almost every part of you?

You see sometimes the healing we seek, the peace, the blessings, and answers are in the little things that don’t seem to matter. The promises we make, the vulnerable moments that make us feel safe, then it ‘would mean so much to me‘, I love you, I miss you, you look lovely, or just those compliments we think are petty. Maybe that’s all you need to realize you are more than just blessed. The way things are going I doubt many of us will get the chance to say 20 what is going to be my year. Instead of focusing on a year why not focus on the moments. Because you have never had your year what makes you think could have that year?
Time should not be measured by years. Allow memories and moments to make every minute of life worth living.

We can’t afford to save ourselves anymore or shield disappointments. We are now built by moments and memories not time. It’s the little things. The early morning coffee or the midday therapeutic tea, the laughs or tears, the conversations, or just the smiles.
Learning your love language or at least learning how to love someone through their love language could be the healing we need now. I don’t think you can give something you don’t have. It starts with loving you and you alone. Those are the little things that matter.
Loneliness has taught me that it’s a personal thing. I can only feel that way if I don’t learn or find the strength to love myself. Prioritize your mental health and self-care. And I hope you learn the same; to learn to love you before anyone.

I don’t know when next I will write or what I will write about. But life is no longer giving us a chance to say goodbye so while you still can do it today. I hope to write soon. #maskup #sanitize #staysafe

motivational, Uncategorized

It’s been a while

It’s been a while. I hope you are alright since the last time I wrote. I am so sorry for going MIA. But well I am here now and boy! Do I have a lot to say.
Where to start? Well being where we are is a miracle, blessing, grace, and God’s will. I doubt any of us are still alive because we were smart or deserving but I guess our stories still have a few incomplete pages.

Photo by Maria Tyutina on Pexels.com


That said I would like to say Compliments of the season (if I am not too late) and I hope this year our mental health is a priority before anything else. 2020 has been one of the best years I can count. Don’t get me wrong but it took the pandemic to make me realize a lot about life. Life is so fragile and gives but it’s what we do before our time comes. I learnt to face my own demons and skeletons I hid and ignored for so long. I found certain parts of myself I never knew I had. my relationship with God has leveled up and he has taught me to count all my joys during my hardest times. What’s your 2020 lesson?

True is life will not give us a chance to say goodbye, but we have come too far to walk away from the rainbow. It is unfortunate many of us are selfish and blinded in ignoring the harm we are causing by not following the Covid regulations, may you be enlightened before you get what you deserve. To those battling it’s not over, you will finding healing and a breakthrough. And of course a silent moment and pray for those that have lost their loved ones.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com


2021 is giving many of us opportunities to develop new skills, maintain a healthy mental state, and probably accept this is our new normal and we need to make it work. Looking back at regrets and unfulfilled dreams will not make them work, we need to regroup, refocus, and re-strategize on what’s next. I know many of us are finding it hard in taking risks in new ventures. This is probably because of the fear of the unknown and letting go of what’s suffocating you at the moment because that’s the only thing that made you happy. But how can you know if you cannot step out and compare it to something? Before I rumble and forget let me get to the point, 2020 might not have been your year and well 2021 doesn’t look bright either but that does not mean you got to sit and wait for your year. What if it never comes? What if you don’t have that year you call your year. Maybe instead of waiting on something why not work on it?
Like I always say it’s the baby steps that matter, you won’t know how far you have gone till you try something in life. Be a little patient, sometimes it takes the exercise of faith and time to bloom. One day at a time and always allow God to help you.

Photo by Charles Parker on Pexels.com


This month I felt it is important that we prioritize our emotional and physical wellbeing. Like I said we won’t know till you try. I will go into detail about some tips as the month goes by so stay tuned in for notifications. Below are some few tips you could adopt.

  1. Working on your spiritual life can align you to the peace of mind you need. Sometimes we avoid truth or guidance because we feel the bible is oppressing but what if it was really put in place to protect us from the fading joys the world can never sustain. Read your devotions. Find guidance from what you believe will keep you close to God. Maybe we really need the fear nots and the prayers to connect us with the one above for better understanding. Don’t question the scripture instead allow it to speak to you.


2. Journaling. I can never stress enough on how important journaling is. Each and everyday of writing directs and shapes a part of you to somethings you have accomplished, misplaced or are grateful for. It helps you keep track of certain things we think are small but you will realize how grateful you are months later. It gives you a reason to be committed to doing better or improving tomorrow. It gives purpose and a deep link in a journey we deserve to enjoy and grow through daily.


3.Your diet is very important. With whatever little you have, find a balance. And just in case you have never thought about this imagine how much you could save with just gardening? You never know till you try.


4.Schedule me time and resting time. We all need that moment to ourselves to reflect on the little or big things. And with our emotions flying around this time can be used to reflect on making better decisions.


5.When you need help speak out. Don’t assume people understand, no they don’t and they probably don’t care. Mental health issues are real and they can affect you in the long term stand. So take care of your mind and talk to somebody who can offer or direct you to the right person.

6. Exercising is not a favorite but I can testify how mood-brightening it is, sometimes the heart needs the pumping and the joints need to flex a bit.


7.Lastly, combat self-criticism with love and acceptance. We are not perfect. We mess up but we need to stop killing pieces of ourselves for something we have no control over. Instead listen, observe, reflect, and strategize on ways one can learn and adjust to doing better.

I hope this year will be fruitful and kind to us. I hope you laugh more. I hope you hug and love. May grace allow you surround yourself with people who make feel alive and wanted. I hope you sprinkle good vibes and be able to share the light your candle carries. Don’t wait till its late to do it. I hope you live louder, kinder and spread not germs. Be kind to yourself and others.

poetry, Uncategorized

#Midnightpoetry

Source: Pinterest

Beauty is a curse. I desire to cover mine rather than pamper it.
When they ask me about it, I tell them how I am perceived, judged, labeled, and stripped before they decide to get to know me.
Makeup won’t make me better it will just cover the imperfections I have to face each time I go to bed.
Being a badass who handles no crap I am constantly detested for her guts and attitude.
Well, it’s unfortunate beautiful is not what I seek to be addressed.
At the end of my tips, I drive and build for more.
In my mind, I dream of a world where women don’t have to beg to sit on tables made by men for men. Instead, they can get those opportunities without having to satisfy an unrealistic checklist.
But maybe if I wasn’t a woman I would understand why beauty defines it all yet it leads me right in that dark deep hole when it fades at some point.
I am continually reminded why I am not good enough, why my prayers became ashes I bath to cover my shame. I don’t want to unhinge my doors every summer to find a home. I want to be my own home but yet still the tainted muddy stain reminds me why the sky is full of scars because I am a woman.

devotion, Religion

Weekly Devotion: When he shows up.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,

     whose confidence is in him.

Jeremiah 17:7 NIV


I need you to get up and get on your knees and admit that you need God. Many of us have made room for doubt and confusion. You have already jumped to a conclusion that shouldn’t be there. Even with so much evidence that God is present you have allowed it to take over.

Her story is not written but it is told by the people she lived with; readers let me introduce to you Noah’s wife. You can tell me of Deborah, Esther, Ruth, etc. but the power of this woman playing in the background is magnificent. You see she is the evidence of the power in silent conversations with God. Imagine years of building an ark, a husband who is constantly preaching to a broken world a message that seems irrelevant and unrealistic she somehow manages to keep the family together and face the bullies every day. Noah’s wife‘s story might not be written but I am sure damned that woman prayed. Understanding the giants her family had to face, she knew they had to take God to meet the gods these people had drowned their souls in. For decades God showed up in her life fought her battles and kept her in line. Her support, her patience, and her warmth on cold days that seemed hopeless, God came through. Sometimes we do not understand that it takes the people in the background to plead with God to see you through those mountains you cry about. Having a cheerleader in your life like Noah’s wife tells their story through you. Her unwritten story teaches me one lesson I want you to keep in mind ‘ no matter what, no matter how long it might seem God showed up from the start.’ Our conclusions to God’s matter should be based on the belief that we started with. In other words, God’s plan of the ark did not start when he shut the door it all begun when he gave every man and woman a choice to be part of an ark that was still the sermon of repentance.

When you feel like falling remember it’s okay to fall because God is always close enough to catch you. He is always on time, he is still on time, and he always shows up. But many at times we do not have the patience, we do not want him to show up the way he does, or we want him to do it our way. Sometimes he allows certain things to happen before he shows up, or he could be there just waiting for you to call him. It’s so sad that many of us give up on God before he even plays his role. We make decisions for him.

Recently while reading my bible I asked myself is there a time when God didn’t show up? A time he just didn’t make it to his appointment? Well maybe I am misinformed on this one but in all incidents, God was there even when it seemed he ain’t doing nothing he was doing something.

At times things may seem like they are falling apart, nothing seems to be going right and you are just there confused. With so much going on you want quick solutions and means to make you feel less vulnerable; you suddenly decide to pack God away and you go searching out there. My question of curiosity to you ‘Did God not show up?’

The book of Proverbs 15:3 says ‘the eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.’ Take note of the word everywhere meaning that he never walks away until we push him away. We are not valueless or invisible to his eye we just need to allow him to take over. God will show up if we allow him to. We just need to trust him a little more.

Sending love, prayers and blessings Rutendo.

#mental health, Opinion, Sunday whispers

Sunday Whispers: Are you alright?


Hey, it’s been a while now but yet still welcome to another post of Sunday whispers. I would like to apologize but I am more concerned about you guys rather. Are you okay? With all this going on and so many adjustments flagging that life will never be the same or back to normal.

This week’s whisper is me asking you “are you alright’

Just between you and me, are you alright? No, I don’t mean that I mean deep down where you usually cover that dark corner with that smile; are you okay?
Well I know deep down I am not okay but it’s something I am learning to understand that it’s okay not to be okay but what matters is what I do when I am not okay.


I don’t know about you but sometimes I am tired of not being okay. I have been so tired these past few months. I have been so tired I haven’t had the energy to talk about it. But ever since lockdown I’ve had time to process it. And I realized we all need some time out. To catch my breath. To tune in. To feed my life with soulful intention. To hold space. To find a stillness & listen to my body once again. Can you relate?
Well, I still have to ask one on one are you okay? We have so many stories hidden that need to be told. And many at times we don’t have anybody we can tell I am not okay. We fear the judgment and cold remarks people often make when they pretend to be listening.
I don’t have the right words to say but it’s okay not to be all right but what matters is what you do when you are not okay.


You need to stop trapping yourself in the lies of saying yes I am fine when it hurts and you need help. I know at times words can be hard to form and it’s like blood dripping from the wounds in your mouth. The mind is a battlefield if you don’t create a strategy to stay in control you will constantly break down and never get up.
You see we all need to make hard and tough decisions and accept we are not okay.
So right at this moment, I want you to gasp & inhale & exhale & arrive at that deep end you don’t expose. Call a meeting with your soul, mind, body & spirit and talk about why you are not okay, understand your triggers, and learn to journal. Keep track of the events in your life. The beautiful thing about journaling is it will hold you accountable. You look back 6 months from now like oh shit, I didn’t do that. Let me get back to it right quickly and trust me you will know the answers you keep circling and avoiding. Always remember people can’t read minds so if nothing is okay communicate.
So right now let this be your reset moment. A kind of reboot. Bring all your pieces together and acknowledge your story in 2020 & make peace with it, celebrating it and remembering but learning to let go and move on.
Are you still not okay? You won’t be if you don’t deal with your problem. Feelings are okay but I truly hope you will be okay.

PS: if you need a shoulder I am always open to sharing the silent conversations with you.

Sending love and prayers Rue🥀

devotion, Religion

Weekly Devotion: Don’t forget

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

-Psalms 34:4

I don’t know about you but there are times where the word leaves me exhausted. I am trying to understand or see the point that the preacher was trying to make and nothing seems to make sense because probably I don’t see the story from his angle (cases where he sees a curse I see a blessing). Times where we simply do not understand why God allows good things to happen to bad people. I can recall times when I would pray for something so hard and that thing is given to somebody who does not care or seem to need it. Well, this is life. A phase of situations we can never seem to understand because God knows what’s best for us. Some of you can recall the struggle of trying to explain to people why you worship God the way you do and most of the time you have no idea or tangible facts expect ‘I was born in this system.’

Sadly that’s how careless many of us are, we have no idea why we worship God or attend the churches we do. We are so ignorant that we allow people to tell us what they believe and as stupid you might have become you believe. Commitment to a dead faith that is unstable. I am not saying do not listen to your pastors, preachers but I am saying that you need to have time out where you ask God to make you understand scripture and the word that we frequently receive each every day. Be committed and build in God, not the church. Not having your backbone will not help you stand; you need to be able to learn parts of yourself and have that walk with the Lord, not the church. After all, we were not created to dependent on what somebody says about the bible but we were given the bible to communicate and feed upon God’s word one on one with him. Company is there to help you out not spoon feed you. I am not here to condemn your beliefs and practices but I just want to ask you do you still remember?

There are so many bible characters in the bible that had a one on one with Jesus/ God but remained ignorant. It is our nature to forget as humans. When things don’t seem to go our way we forget who is in control and we suddenly want to play God.
Let me take you to the book of Jonah, a prophet who is sent on a mission to preach a message of repentance & forgiveness but he decides to change the route. You see Jonah ends in a fish’s belly not as dinner but as a reminder from God who is in still control and probably highlights the impact of the message he is meant to give. But Jonah missed the point. He ends up where was supposed to go but still, Jonah forgets. Full of hate and bitterness, Jonah preached a message of love, forgiveness, repentance with a wounded passion. Remember it’s not all people who pray and are religious who tell God’s wors  from a heart of love. Sometimes it’s a curse.  Jonah forgot God’s forgiveness and love. That’s us, a people who forget that we are all sinners and require God’s love, grace, and forgiveness every day of our lives so much that we are quick to judge and remind God who is better.

Do you still remember?

Our main text reminds me that each time I seek the lord he delivers me. So whom am I to infringe somebody else that right to be delivered from their fears? Don’t you think it’s time you allow God to be God? When life puts us in unknown places of not understanding certain particular things do not forget the same God that saves you is the same God that can deliver that person you think is beyond redemption. Today God wants us to reconcile with him and forget not about love and grace. We need to accept that we do not have control of the outcomes of life situations but we should not forget that thus far the Lord has brought us. In every opportunity, you get do not carry a heart and scriptures in a mouth full of hate to deliver to people. Allow God to use you and don’t forget when we seek him he can deliver us.

Sending love, prayers and blessings
Rutendo🥀

poetry

Define

Photo by Mat Reding on Pexels.com



A cry heard over the hill

Whispered ‘child what defines you?’

Is it the scars imprinted on your soul?

Or the tear stains engraved on your pillows?

The chaotic words impressed by the ink

Or the poetry that builds walls in your wall?

Still what defines you?

You see you are more than just a stationary case

You are a voice

You express the word you create and imagine.

You form the shady vague refinement in every word and image

You define you.

Show me the path to your essence

For no man can crush the dooms you built.

Like I said you define you

And I guess this is what makes me desire you.